"The President, as chief executive officer of the University, has overall responsibility for implementation of the Student Conduct Code and the student disciplinary process and has delegated its overall management to the Vice President for Student Affairs and the Director of Student Judicial Services."
-Original entry as taken from EMU Catalog, Policies: Student Conduct Code: Section II
"As chief executive officer of the University, (1) the president is responsible for (2) implementation of the Student Conduct Code and the student disciplinary process. (3) The president delegates (4) its overall management to the Vice President for Student Affairs and the Director of Student Judicial Services."
-Revision
(1): Changed the opening sentence so it was less choppy by putting important information on the right (68). This also eliminated the clutter of breaking the sentence up more than it needed to be.
(2): Changed "...has responsibility for..." to "...is responsible for..." Williams would call the original section of this sentence a "nominalization" because it is an abstraction of the original verb. (30) Changing "responsibility" to "responsible" makes the sentence much clearer.
(3): Changed two sentences into one by extracting and isolating the important idea of one long sentence into two smaller sentences (70). This makes the pacing of the paragraph a lot better and puts more emphasis on the idea.
(4): Changed "...and has delegated..." to "...delegates..." This original section is also a nominalization ( 30). Changing it also keeps the entire passage all in the same tense by eliminating the passive "delegated"(37).
These revisions really help a choppy paragraph flow a lot better by eliminating unnecessary elements that bog it down. The sentence is much easier to read and makes more sense with the revisions.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Strunk and White: First Impressions
Strunk and White’s “The Elements of Style” is interesting because, despite having been original written over 80 years ago, much of it is still relevant today. Many of Strunk’s central issues in the second chapter would still be items of concern to many teachers and students today.
For example, principle 16 explains the importance of using uncomplicated, clear language. “…the surest way to arouse and hold the reader’s attention is by being specific, definite, and concrete.” (21) For many new writers there is the urge to bump the word-count of a paper by using muddled and redundant language; this just as much of a problem today as it was when Strunk wrote this book in the early 1900s.
I find in my own writing, whether it be for fun or school, I tend to be rather wordy. For me it’s a subconscious thing that I can trace back to my junior year of High School when my composition teacher urged her students to pick up a thesaurus. Most likely if Strunk read some of my writing he would write, “Rule 17! Omit needless words,” all over it.
Another principle outlined by Strunk that is still a problem for many students today is principle 6, where Strunk cautions against using periods instead of commas. He provides the example of, “She was an interesting talker. A woman who had traveled all over the world and lived in half a dozen countries.” (7) Sentence fragments are a frequent nemesis of many an essay and term paper.
In fact, as I’m writing this the second part of that sentence is underlined by the squiggly green line in Microsoft Word. Strunk explains that sentence fragments can be used for emphasis, most commonly in fiction. I think this accounts for part of its prevalence, as many young writers might think they are using it to emphasize a point while the teachers simply sees it as being wrong.
Not everything in “The Elements of Style” is still relevant today, however. Many of Strunk’s points go completely against what I’ve been taught so far in writing classes. One of which is in the third chapter on form. Strunk writes, “Formal quotations cited as documentary evidence are introduced by a colon and enclosed in quotation marks.” (36)
In my writing classes both in High School and College I’ve never heard a professor say that quotes must be introduced by a colon. In most cases, at least as I’ve been taught, a quote is introduced with a comma. (Example: Strunk claims that, “…”)
Another difference is the very first principle Strunk introduces regarding the possessive singular of nouns. Strunk provides the example, “Charles’s friend.” In any writing class today this would come back surrounded in red ink. We’ve all been taught that proper way to form a sentence similar to the one above would be, “Charles’ friend.”
But for the most part I would say “The Elements of Style” is a straightforward and useful guide that many today, including myself, would find to be preferable to most modern writing textbooks.
For example, principle 16 explains the importance of using uncomplicated, clear language. “…the surest way to arouse and hold the reader’s attention is by being specific, definite, and concrete.” (21) For many new writers there is the urge to bump the word-count of a paper by using muddled and redundant language; this just as much of a problem today as it was when Strunk wrote this book in the early 1900s.
I find in my own writing, whether it be for fun or school, I tend to be rather wordy. For me it’s a subconscious thing that I can trace back to my junior year of High School when my composition teacher urged her students to pick up a thesaurus. Most likely if Strunk read some of my writing he would write, “Rule 17! Omit needless words,” all over it.
Another principle outlined by Strunk that is still a problem for many students today is principle 6, where Strunk cautions against using periods instead of commas. He provides the example of, “She was an interesting talker. A woman who had traveled all over the world and lived in half a dozen countries.” (7) Sentence fragments are a frequent nemesis of many an essay and term paper.
In fact, as I’m writing this the second part of that sentence is underlined by the squiggly green line in Microsoft Word. Strunk explains that sentence fragments can be used for emphasis, most commonly in fiction. I think this accounts for part of its prevalence, as many young writers might think they are using it to emphasize a point while the teachers simply sees it as being wrong.
Not everything in “The Elements of Style” is still relevant today, however. Many of Strunk’s points go completely against what I’ve been taught so far in writing classes. One of which is in the third chapter on form. Strunk writes, “Formal quotations cited as documentary evidence are introduced by a colon and enclosed in quotation marks.” (36)
In my writing classes both in High School and College I’ve never heard a professor say that quotes must be introduced by a colon. In most cases, at least as I’ve been taught, a quote is introduced with a comma. (Example: Strunk claims that, “…”)
Another difference is the very first principle Strunk introduces regarding the possessive singular of nouns. Strunk provides the example, “Charles’s friend.” In any writing class today this would come back surrounded in red ink. We’ve all been taught that proper way to form a sentence similar to the one above would be, “Charles’ friend.”
But for the most part I would say “The Elements of Style” is a straightforward and useful guide that many today, including myself, would find to be preferable to most modern writing textbooks.
Peer Review Recap, part one
For the most part I really liked using Google Docs to workshop this project. I thought it was a lot easier to work with than doing an in-class workshop and made it easier to give the paper's my full attention. The only problem was something which isn't inherent to Google Docs, but just to the group editing process in general. I was the first in our group to edit any of the papers, and the last to get any feedback on my own, so I had to wait until the last minute to do this assignment.
As for the advice both of my group members noticed that I focused on a few parts of how my project succeeded while almost entirely ignoring another aspect. This was something that I hadn't really thought of because I took the assignment in sort of a different direction than they did. I agree with what they said, though, and want to clean up certain parts of my essay to make them more clear.
In general the advice I gave was for them to include more information supporting their claims. I realized later that perhaps suggesting what information they should add may have been helpful.
The only suggestion I have is to set a deadline for when groups should have their edits made. This will eliminate the problem of being forced to wait until the last minute to do the blog post.
As for the advice both of my group members noticed that I focused on a few parts of how my project succeeded while almost entirely ignoring another aspect. This was something that I hadn't really thought of because I took the assignment in sort of a different direction than they did. I agree with what they said, though, and want to clean up certain parts of my essay to make them more clear.
In general the advice I gave was for them to include more information supporting their claims. I realized later that perhaps suggesting what information they should add may have been helpful.
The only suggestion I have is to set a deadline for when groups should have their edits made. This will eliminate the problem of being forced to wait until the last minute to do the blog post.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Blog Post #3: My Writing Technologies
As long as I've been old enough to be in some sort of school, including preschool, I've been exposed to computers. As such, like many in my generation, the piece of writing technology I use most would be the computer. Whether it's for personal writing, work, or school I turn to the computer first because I find it easiest to write for long periods of time.
I am 20 years old yet already I find myself unable to write by hand for more than 5 minutes or so at a time before getting serious pain in my hands. However, I cannot take notes using my computer. It's too much of a distraction for something that requires attention and simply does not allow me to make the necessary connections to the material.
But for hammering out a 12 page research paper or writing a newspaper story the computer is my first choice. I have a lot of experience using it, and find I can quickly and efficiently write with it. I also find it improves my editing techniques, as I am able to edit-on-the-fly with more ease than if I am writing by hand. It also gives me a better sense of structure and organization of my writing.
Right around the time that I was young enough to go with my parents to work when I was sick was also the time when type writers were beginning to be replaced by computers. My mom's job (at EMU) was slow on getting computers, so they always had type writers around. As such, I've used them before, but never to do any sort of actual writing--unless you count key mashing as writing.
I do occasionally use a notebook and a pen, but only if absolutely necessary. I always try to have a notebook on me in case an idea strikes me as something particularly interesting and I don't have a computer. Mostly, this is for personal writing, note taking, and other miscellaneous things. But, it's increasingly less likely for me to not have my laptop on me, as my job basically necessitates constant access to my e-mail.
I am 20 years old yet already I find myself unable to write by hand for more than 5 minutes or so at a time before getting serious pain in my hands. However, I cannot take notes using my computer. It's too much of a distraction for something that requires attention and simply does not allow me to make the necessary connections to the material.
But for hammering out a 12 page research paper or writing a newspaper story the computer is my first choice. I have a lot of experience using it, and find I can quickly and efficiently write with it. I also find it improves my editing techniques, as I am able to edit-on-the-fly with more ease than if I am writing by hand. It also gives me a better sense of structure and organization of my writing.
Right around the time that I was young enough to go with my parents to work when I was sick was also the time when type writers were beginning to be replaced by computers. My mom's job (at EMU) was slow on getting computers, so they always had type writers around. As such, I've used them before, but never to do any sort of actual writing--unless you count key mashing as writing.
I do occasionally use a notebook and a pen, but only if absolutely necessary. I always try to have a notebook on me in case an idea strikes me as something particularly interesting and I don't have a computer. Mostly, this is for personal writing, note taking, and other miscellaneous things. But, it's increasingly less likely for me to not have my laptop on me, as my job basically necessitates constant access to my e-mail.
Monday, September 8, 2008
What is style?
Style refers to the choices a writer makes regarding word choice, phrasing, length of sentences, placement of punctuation, etc. A writer's style usually depends on what they are writing about, and is more or less different for each individual. It has to do with the language a writer uses, but also how they arrange their words and sentences in their writing.
It also depends on the medium for which they are writing. The style of writing for a fictional novel differs greatly from that of a textbook or a blog post. Style is often contoured by the writer to match the expectations of his or her readership--that is to say, those reading a magazine about psychology expect a certain style that is very different than those reading a magazine about sports. Style also is part personal preference. Many writers try to develop this over time, to find a style that is unique to them, which sets them apart.
It also depends on the medium for which they are writing. The style of writing for a fictional novel differs greatly from that of a textbook or a blog post. Style is often contoured by the writer to match the expectations of his or her readership--that is to say, those reading a magazine about psychology expect a certain style that is very different than those reading a magazine about sports. Style also is part personal preference. Many writers try to develop this over time, to find a style that is unique to them, which sets them apart.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
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